Monday, Paradigm Shift

Now some of you think a paradigm is only twenty cents but I’m here to tell you it’s a major change in the way things are done.

I was laying in bed waiting for the alarm to go off, thinking about topics for this mornings blog when I realized I didn’t have much to report on. Life is pretty much easing back into a normal routine.

So, since now I’m finding little of interest in this adventure of mine, I have decide to only blog when there is something of note. This way if there is a blog entry it’s more likely to be a good one.

I’ve entered a healing phase where changes are slowing occurring and it’s about a much fun as watching paint dry. So if I don’t post, don’t worry, the chances are I am not lying in a pool of vomit, to weak to get up.

This recovery phase seems to focus on the throat, right now it seems I have an ample supply of paste stuck in the back of my throat; I’m being really unsuccessful in clearing it out.

The drooling is reduced to the inbred hillbilly mountain folk level, and is controlled with no more than three or four wash rags a day. Volume of the voice is getting better each day but the slight pain in talking is keeping me shut up, thank you very much.

Feeding is progressing, yesterday I easily finished a pudding cup, it was supposed to be flan flavored, I’m thinking my tastes buds are still pretty much off, tasted more like scrambled eggs but went down pretty easy.

I think I’ll plan on taking a couple to work, pudding cups, for snacks, I got to get intake up to 1500 calories a day to facilitate the loss of Filmore.

I still tire so very easy, but I am trying to get back in the swing of things at work, right now I am so far behind it’s like I just started a new job.

Anyway, stay tuned to this channel for updates; just don’t expect them daily, maybe every few days, and definitely when Dr appointments are on the calendar, May 9^th and 10^th are the next ones.

Quote of the day:

The I in illness is isolation, and the crucial letters in wellness are we.

You guys out there have been the ‘we’ for me, and you have my thanks for all the support you given. I felt that I have never been alone in this journey.

Now let’s get on with the healing and living of life.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Sunday, the day of rest

Started out normal, awoke and was up by six. This meant I was able to get my first nap in a bit after eight. Here I am looking for nap number two in the next hour or so,

I have this resting thing down pat.  Trying to figure out what to do next, feeding time or time to do some laundry?  Feeding time always means a dish washing session afterwards so it is the bigger of the two, but feeding will have to happen some time this morning.

I managed to get nothing done yesterday other than the naps. Biggest thrill of all was walking out to get the mail.  I did have a great visit from friends later in the afternoon.

Like a train going down hill around a curve picking up speed and no one is at the throttle,  woo wee it’s going to get interesting. Eight-eight days till the great expedition, twenty-eight till memorial weekend at the ranch, and the possible Filmore and medi-port eviction pending, going to be fun.

Quote of the day:

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Wernher von Braun 

All you guys enjoy the day of rest, take a nap, and take it easy, I plan on it.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Simply Saturday

Saturday, the day that dawns with such promise for fulfilling the plans made all week long. Who would have thought that Saturday would need to last 40 hours to accomplish all we set out to do.

Not me, I planned for nothing, so I have a chance to be able to make my list.  Slept in a bit, got up at 7, threw a load of laundry in the machine, and now sit composing this missive.

It’s a bit different doing this later than at 5 or 6. It seems like different creative juices are available and my thoughts are more settled down.

Last night was bit rough, after catching a nap from 5 to 9, I ran up to Wally World and picked up the pudding cups. Got home and had a chocolate-vanilla one, going fancy here. 

The chocolate part I got down easy but the vanilla tasted so wrong it was all I could do to force myself to swallow. I managed to finish the whole thing so that’s a start; I plan on adding one to each feeding until it’s a quick feed. Eating a pudding cup right now isn’t all that fast; it takes 5-10 minutes to get one down.

So for fun and games I get to look forward to eating a pudding cup, I still have lemon and caramel flavors to try.  What a diet, ruckpack for energy and vitamins, a pudding cup to train the throat to swallow again, and cans of Nestles goodness for substance.

Living large in Lewisville!!!  I plan to get out today, some how, somewhere.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.

Winston Churchill

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Free Food Friday

The office is having Posada’s Mexican Food, fajita’s, beef and chicken, rice and beans, the works. Me, I’m having nada, nothing, another free food Friday wasted.

But my attempts in eating have made a little headway. The applesauce was ok, managed to get about 2 oz down, the stuff tasted ok but had an acidic burn on the back of the throat.  And about 2 oz was all I really wanted. 

Last night I tried an avocado; these were one of my favorite snacks, avocado and Pete’s mesquite, eaten right from the half shell. About a quarter of one is all I got down.  Seems like the issue is I don’t seem hungry and after a couple of bites I am just too full to eat any more.

A co-worker at work had a great idea, those pudding cups and jello cups are the way to go. I was planning to stop by Wally World and grab some but fell asleep first, maybe tonight.

I was pretty washed out last night. Missed my stop on the A-train, slept right through it, and had to catch a return trip from the sneaky Pete’s station. Got home and pretty much went of bed, getting up to have a couple of cans of Nestles before going to bed around 10.

Going to see how I feel after today, if I am that tired then I think I should work from home a couple of more days and build up some stamina.  On the plus side the throat is feeling the best it has felt in a long time maybe 75% normal. This was a wonderful feeling to wake up to.

Quote of the day:

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.
Lance Armstrong

Stay strong;

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Thursday

Two days in a row! Made it to the office and survived, well, mostly.  Really dragging by the end of the day but that means I enjoy my evening nap.

Going to try applesauce this morning, I know I can swallow a big ol pill so applesauce shouldn’t be that big a stretch.  I need to start adding more food to diet and less can crap, Filmore must go.

I do believe I have entered a new phase of recovery, the throat feels like I’ve got something stuck in the back of it that I can’t seem to hawk up or swallow and the throat is filled with glue or paste.

Still filling the spit rags with mucus/glue/spit; at least I am discreet about it, at least at the office I am.  At home its Katie bar the door, I’m over a trash can gagging and hawking and trying to clear the throat with limited success.

Strange thing I’ve noticed, I don’t seem to get hungry anymore. Seems to me a long time ago I used to get hungry and need to eat. Now I can’t remember what that was like. I have to remind myself I need to take nourishment.  There is no feeling of fullness, one can, two cans or four cans it’s the same.

This at least has hope, with a little luck I can control my weight when this is done and finished, I’m at 198 right now and wouldn’t mind stabilizing at around 190.  I guess time will tell, way I look at it; it should cost less to feed me at 190 than 230, just saying.

Hang in there, it’s Thursday and Friday is just around the corner.

Quote of the day:

"If you’re going through hell, keep going." – Winston Churchill

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Happy Hump Day

It’s a hump day and it’s a happy one.  I’m at the office and just realized I wasted all morning and failed to prepare or upload a report.

Yesterday went well, spent it at the office, still dragging a bit but overall not a stressful day except around lunch time.  Not too good with some of the food smells. I remain amazed that my sense of smell is so keen these days.

Trip home was uneventful with the exception I don’t speak much, had a HOV buddy so I managed to be home by four. Home by four and I bed asleep by five.  My new mantra is never passing up a chance to catch a nap.

I have wonderful news to report, water tastes good again.  Yesterday evening, swishing out my mouth I realized the water wasn’t nasty tasting any more. 

Taste buds must be coming back, water actually tastes pretty darn good, almost sweet, fresh and pure.  I’m talking about distilled water here not tap water. Even on the best of days that tap stuff is nasty.

Just a note to let you know I’m out and about, still kicking.

Laissez les bons temps rouler

Twofer Tuesday -

That’s right, it’s a twofer day, two for the price of one. Like manna from heaven, gems of wisdom are likely going to be drifting down in pairs, like good boots, two make one, it's a twofer.

Found out yesterday that Filmore has an evection notice, four weeks and he’s gone, and with him the medi-port goes at the same time, it’s a twofer. Of course this means I got to get serious about poking food down my throat.

And to help in that task is ruckpack, energy & Wellness nutrition.  Check em out at www.ruckpack.com.  There stuff is so good they sold out and are waiting for the next shipment.  This is a combat tested & proven formula, a twofer for kicking Charlie’s butt.

And to boot, in the package was pictures of my two beautiful grand kids, the princess and the beast; she is a princess and he is a beast, takes after his dad no doubt, but with his momma’s sweet disposition. Need I say, another twofer.

Feeling pumped, going to try the in office work thing again, last week was a little early but maybe today is the day. I like working from home but feel more productive working from the office, at least when I need to interact with the level1 techs.

Got a ruckpack down Filmore so anything is possible, let’s roll, got to chatch the A-train and then the green line, yeah, a twofer.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

It's Monday –

It has been twenty days since I finished treatments.  At first it actually got worse, every day seemed to be a bit worse than the day before.  Overall the whole situation was getting out of hand.

Then about 12-15 days I started to notice an improvement, it was little steps but they were steps in the right direction.  I believe I am getting better and the future is looking up.

Today is the first of the follow up exams. Today I meet with my oncologist, I’m sure there will be lab work to check to see how we are doing after the chemo and a general exam to make sure I am recovering well.

I will be wearing a shirt provided by Sissy and crew, it’s one of the nice ones, it’s a Tommy Bahama, model Pina-a-Lotta, It is a keeper.

I look forward to the next few Doctor appointments; it will all be about getting better and recovering.  I will ask about when FIlmore can go and if the medi-port is going to get yanked anything soon.

If all goes well today, I am planning to try to work in the office tomorrow; I think I can make it all day without getting totally wiped out like last Monday.  Most of my Sunday was spent taking naps. After wine making work I spent the next two hours crashed, only getting up in order to take a nap.

Way I see it , the doctor’s appointment at ten should be done by 11:30 then lunch and all I have to drear is four hours of a Monday.  I think I can handle that.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Weekend Day Two

It was another great night’s sleep. I managed ten hours this time with only a quick wake up at 4:30 AM. I was up and round by 10:30 planning on doing nothing.

Throat continues to improve, one small step at a time, but I swear that each day is better than the day before.  All I managed to do yesterday was feed Filmore and sit around reading or watching old movies.

Looks like that is what I’ll be doing today as well.  It has made it to 4:30 PM and I still haven’t got enough down to post a blog entry.  Is this a good thing? Little things keeping me preoccupied and forgetting to post?

Had two sets of visitors to day, the bean counter stopped by and we talked about the great expedition, it’s coming then the Starkster dropped in and we worked on the wine kits. Started a Tango and went to settling on the other, port has another week before we need to address it.

Loyal minion is home from the paint ball center and taking a nap, which is right out of my play book, sounds like a good idea.

Consider this a post, a place holder until tomorrow, tomorrow, when things are bound to be more exciting.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Weekend Day One

That’s right; it’s the weekend, and so far it is shaping up to be a great one. You ever wake up and just know it’s going to be  great day?  Today is like that, I am expecting great things.

Maybe it was the fact I slept straight through for eight hours, and finally feel rested up. Maybe it the fact I can tell the throat is making progress, it isn’t right by a long shot but it is moving in the right direction.

Sipped a little coffee yesterday, very little, but it wasn’t water. In fact I even ate about an ounce of chocolate malt. The best part is the chocolate malt it did sort of like taste like chocolate

All I need to do is to start forcing fluids by mouth since the taste is moving from dead rat taste to a more natural flavor.  Makes swallowing a tad bit easier. Yeah the taste buds are re-awaking and maybe there is hope on dumping Filmore.

Filmores existence is predicated on my inability to take enough nutrients by mouth.  Once I can do that, Filmore is history.

I have the oncologist doctor appointment on Monday,  That’s the first follow up but not significant in assessing the results of the treatment.  More like a meeting to schedule the follow up  and to make sure I’m at least trying to get better.

I want to go back to work in the office five days a week. That’s because if I can do that then I have regained my strength and am no longer on a first name basis with Mr. trash can. 

Right now the crap in my throat has the consistency of peanut butter, you can’t seem to clear your throat and trying to usually leads to a gag reflex episode that most likely involves Mr. trash can. I hate it. I want that crap gone, at least it is getting better, from once every fifteen minutes to maybe once an hour, the throat is getting better.

Talked to warrior child yesterday, he has found an amazing product for me so stay tuned to here about it.  He is busy juggling family, school, the army. He is one amazing young man.

Faithful minion help fill the garrison brothers keg yesterday. Retirement keg is working. There are two, possibly three wine kits to be decanted and racked this weekend. It may be time for patty to start her last kit. I need to build up my wine inventory for the day I start drinking wine again, I got time to make up.

Porch garden is looking good, all pepper plants are up and looking strong. I am hopping that they can stay on the front porch another thirty days before I have to move them to the back yard.

It’s the week end – I plan to max it out, I have tomorrow to rest up if I over do it.  It’s going to be a good day.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Weekend Eve

Technically that is correct; the weekend doesn’t really start till after 4 (COB), but it’s in full swing come Saturday morning.

So today is dedicated to looking forward to the two days off and all our plans. Mine include a wine making exercises and rose trimming with a possible run to the dump. Talk about exciting; woo wee, living on the edge.

Thursday was a pretty good day, managed to work with Alan and stay awake for most of it.  I can not believe how washed out I was after the single day in the office. Three days to recover? Dang it Bobby, I’m not in that bad of shape am I?

Once again, looks like rest and recuperation is to be the order of the day for this weekend. I’ll take care of the email that has piled up since yesterday and then look around for a problem to work on.

If I was at the office the problems would come looking for me.  It seems like the issues have been really weird lately. 

A co-worker, Jeremy, isolated an anomaly in a built in performance tool that we have been using in most of our diagnostic testing. Now we are going to question its reporting every time, not good.

Heck of a find, I think it should be reported so they can do a bug fix.

Hoping for some early morning thunderstorms, I would like to sit in my garage and watch the storm roll on through.  We haven’t had a good storm here in a while, granted there was one a week or so ago but I slept through it so it never happened.

All I got to do is get through eight more hours of tedious waiting and it’s the weekend.

Stats this morning:

Blood pressure:  123/78

Blood sugar: 143

Weight: 199.5

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

D-2 Till the Weekend

Looking forward to the weekend. This might be the first one in several weeks that hold promise as to be more than a rest and vegetate  type of day.

Not that I am planning any great projects or adventures but I am actually feeling pretty good.  The way I feel has a big impact on how the day goes.

Yesterday was a slow day, I was re=covering from the day before that one. I overdid it a bit on Wednesday so I paid for it yesterday, and today I am good to go.  Looks like I still don’t have a full day of energy in me yet, but I am getting closer.

Si if I have the timing down tomorrow is a down day and Saturday is a good day. Here is to hoping it happens that a way.

Meanwhile back at the casa Pedro, I have had to lay down twice since I got up this morning, what’s up with that?  Today is supposed to be a good day not an  I am a worn out puppy day.

Working from home is on the books as I have already slept off most is the morning and still haven’t got the blog posted.  And I started at 5:30  already.

Plan on a little wine making this weekend have at least one ready to bottle and maybe a second one as well. Patty has a kit she needs to start and Jeremy has port to finish up. I washed bottles yesterday and have a few more to clean up but then I am ready.

Two days to go and it’s the weekend. . . hang in there, stay strong.

Stats this morning:

Blood pressure:  110/78

Blood sugar: 155

Weight: 198.5

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Happening Hump Day or Wonderful Wednesday

Started this late Tuesday night when things had gone pretty good for the day, Train ride in and caught a ride home with Alan so I was back to casa by Four thirty and asleep by four forty-five. 

It wore my butt out.  I underestimated what it would do to have to stay on task with out the occasional rest breaks. I will be working from home tomorrow and most likely several days in a row.

Woo Wee, that was all yesterday’s news; this is a blog about hump day the traditional middle of the work week, when we begin to smell the weekend. It’s coming and it’s coming fast.

Speaking of smells, that is one thing I have noticed, my smeller is working overtime, I can smell stuff. Since I have mentioned it to others, they are all like. smell what? I don’t smell anything, but, I can attest, I can smell it.  Unfortunately it doesn’t always smell good.

Biggest offenders, dirty socks, dishes in the sink, the garbage can.  Ok, maybe I had my head in the garbage can a bit much so that one gets a pass.  I wonder if the smeller is compensation for the lack of taste?

Lack of taste is why I am having such a hard time getting back to taking input by mouth.  It’s hard to swallow when stuff tastes nasty with a capital N. And that includes water, not tap water which not only smells bad but has a taste so gross it’ll gag you, but distilled water, water I that I used to love drinking, no odor but the taste is just wrong.

So far I’ve been able to down about 6 oz a day. That is drinking till I can’t stand the thought of another sip.  Actually I can get down one to two ozs at a time; I just lose interest real fast.

I am cutting a fine figure now days, looking cool with my britches riding down on butt.  I have to remain diligent in the event they slip past and head south. What are the punks of today thinking, just seconds away from major embarrassment and they do it on purpose.

Wearing 36 inch jeans now, 34 would be way too tight but 35 would fit fine if I can find any, what to do with the many pair of 38 inch jeans in the closet now?  What’s sad is those 38’s, they were really tight there at one time. Guess losing 38 pounds can do that to your wardrobe.

Throat is pretty darn sore right now but I do believe that it is an improvement over what it was a week ago so I can live with it.  Hurts to swallow but at least I can swallow so that’s a plus in the right column.

Strength and stamina is slowing coming back, overdid it yesterday, I was one whooped puppy by 3PM,  all I could do to get home and take a nap. I guess I need to take it a little bit easier may be next week is the return to working in the office 2-3 days a week. I may try one more day this week but it will not be humpday.

So where are we? Well the doctors are lining up like this April 23, I see Dr Nguyen, my oncologist, at 10 AM,  May the 9 I see Dr Simmons, (internist) at 8 and on the 10^th I see Dr Lliha (radiation oncologist), and last of all I see the dentist may the 31^st at 7AM.

There isn’t any moss growing on my co-pays.

One thing that I was kind of looking forward to was hair loss, I‘ve been considering shaving my head and be a bad ass biker dude but never had the courage to pull the trigger. So I was thinking with the chemo I’ll loose hair and just do it.  Didn’t happen, no hair loss, I am missing out of a ton of pity and concern just because my body refused to become follicly challenged. 

Makes one wonder, did I get the drugs I was paying for?  I got some of the other side effects, just not the loss of hair.  I still may shave the head, just to see what it could have felt like.

Full stats this morning:

Blood pressure: 138/83

Blood sugar: 158

Weight: 197

Shirts worn to date: 45

Shirts available for wear: 19

Throat: Fair to sore

Over all condition: better than the day before, about 40%

Work towards the weekend;

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Tuesday Trial

Such a pretty day, think I’ll try a run to the office. Yesterday was ok in terms of issues but productivity is somewhat bottle necked by the working environment.  I plan to see if  I can make it in to the office today.

Working from home I lose all but a single channel of communications due to the VPN tunnel, unless I can get my VOIP phone back up at the same time it will be a workable environment but not he best environment.

Looks like standard blood pressure with out medication is going to be just under 130 and 75, not to bad as that is actually better than what it was when I was taking the benicar and weighing an additional 35 pounds.

Now if I could only get the blood sugar to reduce a bit. . . it’s been running 146-148 as a fasting number.  This really needs to be down closer to the 100-120 range.

Tax extension filed so that is one item that I can take my time on now,  I guess I should start to gather up all the parts and pieces to get the info to the CPA, hopefully it won’t take too long.

Monday was a good day but I was so tired all day, my nap at noon lasted till 12:30 and I was still tired. I welcomed Four o’clock so I could take another nap, this one lasted till six.  Seems strange, I sleep, but I still wake tired and exhausted.  It must be the healing thing.

I am heading out soon, A-train to green line, green line to downtown.  Nice to know that at any stop I can reverse the process and head back home.  Hopefully the day won’t be a taxing experience.

Blood pressure – 129/75

Blood sugar – 146

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Monday’s Method

Almost midnight and I am not to sure what to do.  Feeling a lot better but not sure if I am feeling go to office better.  That kind of better means 6-8 hours of stay there as well.  Not sure I am up to that.

Working from home means I can go lay down for 15 minutes if I need to. I can lie down for hours if I need to so the question is; do I go in today or do I work from home?

One thing I am worried about is the amount of visiting that I may have to do, I know they mean well but voice isn’t up to talking too much right now.  Maybe I’ll check the weather in the morning, if it’s nice I go in if not I’ll stay home.

Sunday was a non-event. Mostly spent sitting around semi somnolent resting up for Monday.  Was really interested in how well I would sleep.  

Found the answer at three this morning – not.

I might have mentioned my superior gag reflex.  Seems like last night it was performing at a stellar level,  I  wasn’t nauseous,  just had something in my throat I couldn’t hack up or get rid of and that in itself led to several episodes of return to sender.

So the question of rather to work in the office or work remotely has been settled, local trash cans are a comfort that will not be denied.

Looking back I place the blame on feeling too good. Friday night, Saturday and Saturday night went so well I decided to forgo the normal nightly medications which include an anti-nausea and an anti-vomiting pill.  Can you say bad move? 

And to top it off, FIlmore decided he wasn’t getting enough attention so he ups and blows a cork at four this morning. What a mess, like icing on the cake, stripping sheets at 4:15 and looking forward to a Monday laundry day.

Think I’ll work from home.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Slow moving Sunday

Just like the storms predicted to hit and cause havoc and destruction this morning, Sunday  has fizzled out as well.

After listening to the dire predictions for this morning I was all hyped up to enjoy a thunderstorm. I was looking forward to excitement and drama and a morning to remember.

Pretty much fizzled, had a little rain but that didn’t last long. And I somehow was to tired to stay awake and enjoy the calm.  Sitting half asleep on the couch I realized I’ve missed posting the morning update, again.

Missed it a third time, for got to post it three hours ago when I remembered I had forgot to post this morning,  Wow, my life is so exciting right now. . .

Film at eleven

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Soup or Saturday

 Seems like it ought to be one or the other, so far pretty good day, may not be super but definitely it is Saturday.

Mine started at 4 AM; couldn’t sleep, so I was up and about, not doing much, but stirring.  Friday was a bit taxing, found myself needing to rest way more than the amount of rest I needed on Thursday.  I ended up going to bed earlier much earlier than normal.

What’s normal? I haven’t a clue any more, my world has been redefined and things no longer have the same values that I once embraced. 

Daily goal is, and continues to be, trying to take water by mouth. I am able to get a few, very few, small sips. I need to be able to get a couple of ounces down at once, then I can move to step two, food.

I have got to get the food down, this is necessary so that Filmore can be evicted. I look forward to the day when Fillmore is no longer is paired with me. 

Right now Filmore is a necessary evil, I have to keep my weight up, weight up = enough nutritional input to achieve healing. And Filmore is the way that is accomplished.

Ninety days till the annual great expedition to Colorado. I am going, hopefully fully recovered and able to relax and enjoy the fishing and good company. Prior to that I have a memorial day excursion to the ranch, that one is 45 days out.

It’s a weekend so I am in the real kicked back mode, waiting for the forecasted bad weather, which I plan to enjoy from the comfort of my garage.

FYI, to date 45 Hawaiian shirts were worn to treatment or doctor visits. There remain 19 un-worn shirts for future visits. What should I do with the ones already worn?  Are they ready to be worn again, they have all been to the cleaners and are pressed and ready for service.

Do I wait till after filmore is out or maybe after the removal of the medi-port?  When does life return to normal? That is the question I have, when?

Weight today – 197

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Finally It’s Friday

Not that it’s going to do me any good; I’m going to be stuck here at Casa Pedro’s one more weekend. Looking back on it, I believe this is the longest streak I ever had at staying home. Since mid-January I’m like a home body, no fun in that.

But that’s what I have planned for the weekend – staying home.  Soon, it’s going to be changing soon, I feel the changes coming. Once I can take food by mouth, look out world hear I come.

For the first time in two or three weeks, no night time issues, slept undisturbed all night through. Got what I’ve been looking for, a great nights sleep.

So I guess you can figure it out, Thursday wasn’t bad at all. Worked most of it and got caught up in not watching the clock, that’s a bad thing when working from home. I finally pulled the plug about 5:30.

My brother is right I got to concentrate of recovery not getting back in the swing of things, got to take life a little bit easier. Going to disappoint some people tomorrow, have 6 requests for assistance someone is going to be left out, maybe two or three some ones.

For free food Friday I’m having 3 cans of gnarley nourishing Nestles liquid food. Poor sob’s in the office have to make do with on the border fajita’s and stuff. Eat you hearts out suckers.

Old lady next door bought me a white board so I can, if I want to, answer those spoken questions, but like sis-in-law says, yes no questions very much appreciated. OLND is a cancer survivor still fighting her own battles so all you guys praying over me feel free to throw a few good words her way, she is way more deserving.

Voice is more like a loud whisper this morning, no more croaking like a frog, now if I could get the slobbering under control.

You guys have a great Friday, play hard, have fun, stay safe.

Bella and Sarah, thanks for the cards, same thing to Ms Pat, those are good ones and helping,

Weight today – 198

Blood Pressure – 125-78

Blood Sugar – 146 fasting

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Transitional Thursday

Turns out Thursday are no longer the dreaded day of the week. Two weeks since the last cheno treatment and I’m feeling no effects from it, guess it’s all out of the system now.

The biggest issue with Thursdays was I was so dang tired, work on something for twenty minutes then sleep for two hours.  I wasn’t at my normal productive self but I did get a lot of rest. Heck, I had to take a nap in the early afternoon to offset the effort of staying awake that long.

Zyrtec, you are my friend, and whoever it was that suggested I try it, you get a gold star in your crown in heaven, it’s great. Taking one has relieved the mucus problem, and along with that issue, the gagging and pukes. It’s not 100%, but its way, way down, like maybe 95% gag free.

Email at work is back up and working, thanks again to Alex for working that out for me, I was so frustrated, but now no excuse, I gotta go to work.

Time for a light snack, maybe two cans of liquid food then I think I’ll try to finish the upgrade site I have been working on for the last two days.

Feels like another great day is in the works, I might even try talking today just to get the voice box working again.

Shout out to trusty sidekick, he cleaned on the garage it is amazing what he got accomplished. I have room for more than I scotter in there now.  Heck, I’ve been going out in the garage to sit, there is so much room.  Come visit, we’ll sit in the garage and drink beer, at least you can drink beer if you want to.

Weight today – 197.5

Blood Pressure – 134-86

Blood Sugar – 150 fasting

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Latest Hump Day Happening’s

Four in the morning and I wake without warning, it’s a country song moment, complete with strange dream to set the stage.  I ‘invented’ a device that allows one to poke a small hole in a screw top wine closer to test the wine without opening it. This way you can test the wine everyday till it is at it's peak and then enjoy it.

It was a dream, seemed to make some sense during the dream but now, I’m pretty sure it would never work, I mean, opened is opened, drink the wine it doesn’t change that much day to day.

I must be getting better, I don’t remember any dreaming during the last 3 weeks of treatment, I was just to tired to get any really good sleep.

Right now I am still dealing with the super industrial strength rope like saliva I swear this stuff could be used to pull locomotives with and the adherence strength is remarkable, it doesn’t release. I have filled numerous wiping rags with samples if you need some for testing.

Looks like I’m going to be up for working again today, maybe I can get in another 8hr plus day, I need to, behind the power curve on performance. It’s one thing to work from home another thing to do enough work to make working from home a viable recourse.

Now if I could only get the issues with email worked out.  Today I start rattling cages.

See, I’m getting ornery, must be getting better.

Weight today – 198

Blood Pressure – 130-79

Blood Sugar – 148 fasting

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Toiling away at work

Crap, you would think I was supposed to be sick but no, I wanna work so I log in remotely to look at a few things and the next thing I know is I worked through lunch and all the way up to 5. 

Can’t complain, best I’ve felt in a looooooog time and even saying that I don’t fell all that good.  Would not have worked if I was in the office but from home the trash can is still my friend.

Everything is better than yesterday, at least it seems that way.  Earlier I was needing to take a break, and was about to go lay down, when I realized I haven’t posted a blog update today.

Got lots of stuff to wail on and a few pretty big stupid targets but I think I’ll take the nice way out today. 

Got a fair amount of work done which is a miracle because mail is totally hosed up and IT help is a mythical creature. If I am having issues tomorrow I think I’ll put on my righteous hat and go on a crusade.  Woo-Wee Pedro’s on the warpath.

If I feel good tomorrow, I promise to post a little bit earlier.

Weight today – 199

Blood Pressure – 119-78

Blood Sugar – 138 fasting

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FIlmore Revolution, Film at Eleven

Ok, no film but I think there something going on; Pinko red commies, left wing radicals, snot nosed pre-pubescent young  punks, someone is stirring thing up with Filmore. Last night he popped his top not once, but twice.  This morning I am doing laundry.

Amazing how one can go from a somnolent state to wide eyed terror is a split second. Most likely that’s not good for the heart.

It’s a Monday, corporate holiday, so I am sleeping in this morning, no need to get up early.  Typical PC crap, can’t have good Friday off, that would offend non-Christians so we take the Monday after as a spring celebration day.  Can you say CRAP.

See? Proof positive I am getting better, stupid stuff is beginning to get to me again. I know, you can’t fix stupid, not even with duct tape.

Yesterday I did the pot plants, 9 pots of peppers are in first class soil and out doors on the porch. Turns out I bought twice enough soil and stuff, I need to go buy 9 more pots and plant something else, maybe cukes, okra, or tomatoes.  

Thanks to the visitors this weekend, enjoyed the visits and thanks for know short is better than long. Like Melinda figured out pretty fast, yes-no questions were the ones I preferred.

Today the throat is a little bit better, much improved from Friday but still a long ways to go but improving. Voice is still just a croak but getting better.

Weight today – 199.5  . . .

Blood Pressure – didn’t take it, it’s the weekend

Blood Sugar – didn’t take it, it’s the weekend

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Easter Eggs and Bunnies

Ha! The title was a diversion, but at least you were interested enough to read on.  It is Easter, a traditional time for renewal and that is what I am doing, getting renewed. Not wearing my Sunday finest but still in the renewal process.

Every day I search hard for some modicum of improvement, anything to show I am moving in the right direction, everyday I test my voice to see if I can talk louder than a whisperer.

I’m getting there; it’s just taking me a little bit longer than I thought. Tuesday is the one week since the last radiation treatment so I should start to see some improvement, already my neck isn’t as red, no longer looks stir fried or sore, so the insides should stat looking and feeling better soon as well.

Started a new wine kit yesterday and other than that I ether slept or thought about sleeping. Except for lat night, a t night I can’t seem to sleep, wake up gagging and puking every 30-45 minuets so it’s not to pretty.

Easter resolution #1; to go a whole blog with out using the term Gagging or Puke. Starting now. . .

 Not to much on tap for today, a run to Lowes is still in the works, in fact may just do that in the next 30 minutes or so.  As soon as I get the garden out the better I will fill about it. Storms are scheduled for the next 4 days so I might need to leave the pots indoors for a few.

Grass and weeds are greening up nicely, both empress trees are out and blooming but one is doing 100% better than the other, hope there’s no lasting drought damage to them. Roses are blooming big time and I still need to do some trimming.  Looks like a garden day to me.

Weight today – 198  - got to eat more . . .

Blood Pressure – didn’t take it, it’s the weekend

Blood Sugar – didn’t take it, it’s the weekend

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Clean Up on Aisle 6

Rough night last night, I got to seriously cut back on my carousing around and partying.  It started out pretty good, but I finally made it to bed about 11.  I managed to get about 2 hours uninterrupted sleep. Then Filmore had a say in things.

I hate it when FIlmore pops a gasket, it is one big mess. But now I know it’s worse when he does it while you sleep.  That sickening feeling of waking up in a mess of what is really puke sets the stage.  It’s just nasty, and you got to clean it up but then you are afraid to try to go back to sleep.

Most of my gag and pukes are the result of choking on a bunch of mucus, I don’t know if it’s a result of the radiation, or the fact my throat is still so sore I can’t swallow or speak, or maybe just sinus drainage. Doesn’t matter it happens , I gag, I choke, I puke, not much, just enough to burn the hell out of my throat.

So this morning I am doing laundry and putting clean linens on the bed.  With the light of day it’s not as bad as I thought it was last night. In fact that is the most amazing thing, pain and misery is now, as bad as it has been, I can’t really quantify it if it was more than  6 hours ago, I mean I know it was bad but was it really? 

The only thing that really matters is the hear and now, this is how I am doing and this is all I have to contend with. I think I try to get out some today, maybe head up to Lowes and get garden stuff.  This is not going to dictate my life; I will work around the issues

Stay tuned I might even update this during the day. Loyal minion and faithful sidekick are going fishing today so I supposed there will be some fish stories to relate later.

Weight today – 202

Blood Pressure – didn’t take it, it’s the weekend

Blood Sugar – didn’t take it, it’s the weekend

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Disappointment Day

It’s Friday, normally this is a cause for great celebration as the reasons are numerous, 3 day weekend, free food,  the weekend.  But for me I sit slightly disappointed, the overnight miracle I was counting on didn’t occur, my throat, while possible a tiny bit improved, is still the pits.

I have almost no voice, just a croak, with a volume level of 1. If I try real hard I can hear what I am saying. Thank goodness I don’t have much t say because it hurts to talk.  This stuff is supposed to be getting better, I am getting impatient.

Last night was standard gag and puke, three times, every 1.5 hours so I am getting sleep in 1 hour increments.  But it beats getting no sleep at all.

So now I have the day to look forward to with me starring in the role of the slobber monster.  It seems the one thing that is happening back in the throat is a lot, a lot, of thick ropey snot/salvia is being produced. It is this fine product that eventually chokes me down and cause a gag puke reaction. In between times I just drool like a slack jawed, mouth breathing, cretin.  All I need is a banjo.

Got in my pepper plants last night so I do have something to keep me busy this weekend, I am going to try pot gardening this year.  No, not that kind of pot growing, the kind where you grow your garden is lots of separate pots.

When you come visit you can enjoy my pot garden, right now it’s all peppers but I am thinking a tomato bush and a cucumber vine will complete.

Weight today – 202

Blood Pressure – 128/78

Blood Sugar – 152 – no breakfast carbs till it’s down to 130

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Last Nadir Day

Thursdays have been the low point in the way I felt after a chemo session, so today is the final bad Thursday. I really hoped I would see a lot more improvement in my overall condition but I guess that fact it’s not headed south is a good thing.

Throat is somewhat better than yesterday which wouldn’t take much improvement to make me happy. It is as raw as I can ever remember and almost impossible to speak.

Had a ton of issues with the work computer yesterday but with the help of Alan and Alex they fixed me up big time so I have the ability to work remotely once again.  Local computer is a disaster, but I did it to my self, what was I thinking?

I basically performed a frontal lobotomy on my machine and lost everything, what was I thinking? Or maybe why wasn’t I thinking. Oh well, they can’t kill you or put you in jail, then it’s not that serious.

My niece Bella had sent me a note abut the best cake in the world as being something called a  Joy Cake so now I guess she is going to have to bake me a joy cake.  I sure am looking forward to it.

And I finally broke down and did it, yep, wine down the feeding tube.  I was pretty disgusted by o-dark thirty last night, kitchen sink was stopped up, I was done playing plumber and the mess was everywhere. The sink still wasn’t draining all that well but at least it was draining. Then loyal minion arrived hauled his power snake to the roof and got after it, all this after 9 PM.

He cleared the drain and saved the day, now all that is left is the clean up. That is one of the items on the to-do list that I am starting, things I need to do when I feel better/strong enough to do.  Number one item, clean the garage.

2oz of a fine malbec that's just a taste but I was disgusted enough I needed a drink. Anyway it was the symbolism not the actual consumption, and I know you want to know, no, I didn't taste a thing.

Weight today – 204

Blood Pressure – 129/76

Blood Sugar – 192 – got to work on this

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

End of Mission

Guess this makes today the first day of the rest of my life.. Got some healing to do, As I understand it, radiation keeps on working for several days/weeks after the last dose.  But I am betting that the physical effects are lessening as we speak.  Wonder how soon it will be till I can feel the strength returning to my swallowing muscles.  

Over all a good day yesterday, the tornadoes didn’t get me, slept through the worst of it, gag and puke is way down.  Hope to make it in to the office today, working from home hasn’t been all that successful and now I am having VPN issues.

Think I’ll A-train it tomorrow, that way I won’t pay for parking and still get to ride the train.

Some things don’t change; I currently have 4 doctor appointments scheduled in the next month.  Am I that nice a guy they just can’t let me go? Actually it is 3 doctors and 1 dentist.  The questions I have are when do I lose the medi-port, and when is Filmore out of here?

Right now I have gag and puke under control but have zero stamina. I laid down for a rest yesterday afternoon after getting logged in to work at noon and woke up at 10.  And this after only 14 hours of sleep the night before.

So if I make it to the office,  I A-trained it, if not I’m asleep again.

Weight today – 205

Blood Pressure – 120/78

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Thoughtful Tuesday

A little after five this morning, a mockingbird decided it was time to greet the new day with a song. But there in lays the problem, damn bird only knew one song, and after the first hundred times, I know it as well. So an hour and a half later it’s still singing. I moved to the front of the house.

Harper lee was wrong, it’s not a sin to kill a mockingbird, it’s self defense.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, figuratively speaking only, because I mean the casa on Mill St, I am sitting here in a better condition than I have been in over last two weeks.  It might be temporary, a result of a great chemo day, but it’s nice to not be keeping a eye on the closest trash can.

Today, the last radiation day, Going to be wearing one of the re-purposed shirts my mom and Anne brought up, a fine blue and gold thrift shop item, a dollar forty-eight as I recall them saying, one fine shirt.

Well, that’s a round up for this Tuesday morning, about to head off to radiation for the LAST TIME. I have been looking forward to this since week 3 when I started having all the throat issues, Still got some, and still working through them, but it’s getting better. And each and every day should bring some improvement . . . 

Well they said the hair loss could happen at any time and I just lost about half my hair.  It's laying on the floor at Tommy's barber shop. and I am no longer looking like a damn hippy.

The good Lord willing and the creeks don't rise

Weight today – 205.5

Blood Pressure – 110/69

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Magnificent Monday

It was a good one, this day known to all as Monday, I was pumped as it was second to last radiation day and the last chemo day of the treatments.

Hell, chemo day has always had to be one of the better treatment days, I think it has to do with the happy bag that gets hung as part of it.  And other than a tendency to drift off to sleep I fell pretty good during and I feel great afterwards.

Pope Buford stopped by to drink a cool one and delay his departure to cardio re-hab. Near as I can tell,, his recovery program is lot better then the one outlined for me, I get no beer.

Posting is being made today from princess, the laptop, the HP workstation suffered a designed flaw and I didn’t think before I chose a course of action which was just about the stupidest thing I ever die.  More about that later as I attempt to recover any thing possible from secondary sources.

Anyway we digress, Sunday night Monday morning I had a 2 hr gag and puke about 2:30AM. So I was so ready to be getting up at 5 and meet this day, the end draws near, the end draws near.

To honor this last chemo day I wore the ’86 ensemble, got a load of complements on the combo, I think the Panama hat was the crowing glory,  here be pictures:

With matching green compression bandage

In the chemo lab, special chair for me

 I don’t care who you are, that’s styling . . .

As we head to the finish area, there is no finish line just a place to check up see how we’ve done.  You, don’t really beat cancer, you might beat it into submission or run it out of its current hiding places but the cold hard facts of life is that it’s out there,

charlie is opportunistic, I can fight cancer I can be cancer free, but I must always remain vigilant, he might be back. I have my first follow up in three weeks. First PET scan is in about 90 days.

I’m feeling pretty good right now, happy bag from chemo hasn’t worn off yet, but it’s a good feeling not like a buzz, but I have clarity about this situation right now, a clarity that is lost in lala land while I’m puking. 

Thanks for all the support, one last day in this operation,  in fact I’ll call it now, end-op at 12 noon, tomorrow, operation kill charlie is complete and operation APB-BOLO PETE’S #1 Enemy Charlie starts. 

Weight today – 204

Blood Pressure – 99/71

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Final 4 – Final 2

Great games last night, especially liked the way big twelve Kansas came back to win. It's like that, never give up, keep plugging away. Two left in the tournament and two days left in the treatment plan, it's the final two

This post is being developed on an instance of Zorin using libreOfice, put it on my machine last night as a dual boot but so far can't get it to do anything but but to zorin, this isn't good.

But that's all the technical stuff, Saturday was pretty good, little rough at times but overall just another day on the trek to wellness. Did I mention that I have two treatment days remaining? I am so ready for this to be over.

No plans for today except maybe Lowes for some weed killer and fertilizer, the yard is actually green!, well, weeds are green.

Also time to do maintenance on the AC mister system. I had to kick on the AC yesterday, got to 90, and I was miserable, so AC on. This may be the earliest that I ever ran the AC.

Trouble is I like it and now it's going to hard to cut it off.

Oh well, its a kick back day of R&R and I feel better than I have in the last 5 days so maybe this is really almost over.

Weight today – 202
Blood Pressure – 117/76

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