Going To See The Elephant

Big times happening this week, started with the eviction of Filmore. I admit I needed the damn thing, but getting rid of it has been a milestone I had been looking forward to.

It imposed limitations on me, real or perceived; there were limitations.  I really hated having to take nourishment that way, but what you going to do if you can’t swallow?

For the last week or so I haven’t used Filmore so it was time to get rid of him.

It took seven needle sticks to get ready, two to draw blood for the lab work, seems like there was a new hire/student that attempted the first stick and missed so the real lab tech showed her how it’s done.

Then the debacle in getting the IV started. First inside the right elbow, then the left, since those didn’t work they tried the back of the hand, first the right then the left. Finally they went back to inside the right elbow and were successful.

I got the bruises to show for it. The IV was necessary as the removal was done under something called twilight anesthesia, I wasn’t out, just on the borderline, vaguely aware of what was going on, sort of.

I can remember hearing the doctor say; let’s deflate the balloon, and then a sharp pull and the sensation of it coming out, sort of like pulling a carrot. It couldn’t have taken more than a few seconds. Got a small gauze bandage covering up the location.

What I’m left with looks like a new belly button, kind of cute.

Just before Filmore was plucked from my belly, they dug out the medi-port. Now that wasn’t as easy.  The sensation was that they were hacking away with a spoon; I swear I heard the scrapping and tearing to go along with the digging in my shoulder.

Feels like they use the chainsaw method, the location is sore like all get out. I do remember the surgeon asking if I wanted to keep it for a souvenir. I declined saying I had no use for it now. Then it was back to la-la land.

The whole procedure from start to finish took about 2 hours and then it was home to sleep off the effects of the drugs.  Finally woke up about 8 PM in time to eat a bite and go back to sleep.

Today was the radiological follow up. The radiological oncologist checked my progress and has ordered the PET scan for July 3^rd.  She seems pleased with the progress I am making and said I appear to be on track.

Another of the side effects is my neck is silky smooth, no shaving here. Still feels like it’s slightly sunburned, sort of sensitive, just like me.

Monday I have a follow up with the regular oncologist so I’ll most likely have something new to report back on.

Here are the shirts I wore to these two appointments:

 Still have about 12-15 shirts available, but I need only three. The last three are from the bean counter and Sissy. They are classics so stay tuned for those.

Quote of the day:

“Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.” 
― John Wayne

Vital stats:

Weight 198

Throat 80%

Blood Pressure 110/78

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Paying it forward

First off, a name change, Battling the Big C, this is because that’s what it’s all about. Friends and family, we are in this fight to the finish.

This trek would not have been possible with out the support of a lot of people. Most you reading this have helped in ways and at times you can never really know. I owe a huge debt that I now am tasked with repaying.

You guys paid it forward; I get to pay it back. I have my work cut out for me.

The shirts I received were such an inspirational support, they help to fulfill my pledge to wear a different shirt to every treatment or doctor appointment.  Also it struck home my wardrobe is seriously Hawaiian shirt heavy.

Foe all the readers and followers of the blog, even that was a support, the comments and the support for it made getting the story out a way of coping with the obstacles that were thrown up in my path.

I had the support of great bosses and co-workers, people that let me work my schedule and took up the slack when I wasn’t there.  Good people that I count as good friends.

I can’t thank those that made the trip to check in on me, several made trips of over 500 total miles, all for a short visit. But even the ones from across town, those visits meant a lot to me. 

All the calls to check on how I was doing and the offers of help made me feel that I wasn’t alone facing this thing.

I owe a ton of thanks to all those that stepped up to the plate to make it easier for me.  Everyday I get better and gain back some of the strength I lost.  I am eating better and taste is slowly coming back.

It’s a shame when chocolate tastes bad, But I am making headway, Filmores days are numbered, he is being evicted next Thursday.  The medi-port will be removed at the same time. For me that is a big milestone.

I have a follow up appointment with the radiation oncologist on Friday. Dentist is scheduled for the 28^th. And sometime after the end of the month a PET scan, that is the big one.

It was the little things, like Bella’s comments, she tried to post, some got through, not bad for a seven year old. Like I said I got some serious payback to take care of.

Quote of the day:

          All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.

–         Walt Disney

In the meantime –

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Saturday Morning Cartoons

It’s the recap of the week; a minor info blog posting to hit the highlights and low lights of the preceding week.

There were no needs for a daily blog except to say I’m getting better, each day is slightly better than the day before but way better that it was a week before.  Tomorrow is different tomorrow is important blog day, be sure to tune in.

Had a long trip home on Tuesday, switch issues on DCTA A-train had it running an average speed of 2.5mph.  That’s right, took two and a half hours to get home.  I left the office at 3:40 and pulled into my drive at 6:00.  But overall, in the scope of things, this was no big deal, just part of life.

Wednesday night I had tomato soup for dinner. All I managed to get down was one small bowl.  It was pretty acidic and didn’t feel all that well on the throat. I continue to try to figure out what might taste better and go down easy.

Thursday meal treat was chicken mushroom soup, creamy chicken mushroom soup. It tasted great and went down pretty easy. One bowl because that’s all I made up.  Filmore your days are numbered.

Free food Friday at the office, I will not be denied.  I don’t care if it is pizza I am having some.  Well that little ego trip wasn’t worth the effort. The Pizza was 2in by 6 inch pieces, it not round pizza but rectangular thin crust stuff. I managed to eat the topping off 1 piece. It didn’t taste right and was too hard to swallow. But I did get it down.

Friday night was the rest of the chicken mushroom soup. About half way through I decided it needed some kick so I got out the hot sauce. You know I like really hot stuff but I cut way back on the amount I hit it with. Good thing, the ability to enjoy hot spicy food is missing, two or three dashes made it too hot to enjoy, the mouth on fire i couldn't finish it.

It is so dang frustrating to smell something that triggers taste memories but then doesn’t taste right.  Getting closer, except that right now everything has a chalky taste.

Filmore popped its’ top early Saturday morning so my plans for sleeping in were thwarted.  I needed clean sheets on the bed anyway.  Filmore your days are numbered.

This thing is rough but you can overcome, stay strong and know you have lots of people pulling for you. It can be beat and will be beat.

I got to start work on the Sunday missive I promised, dang it Bobby, you should have kept your mouth shut. Nothing like a little pressure to enable the writers block.

Quote of the day:

It is only the first step that is difficult.

Marie De Vichy-Chaconne

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Monday, Paradigm Shift

Now some of you think a paradigm is only twenty cents but I’m here to tell you it’s a major change in the way things are done.

I was laying in bed waiting for the alarm to go off, thinking about topics for this mornings blog when I realized I didn’t have much to report on. Life is pretty much easing back into a normal routine.

So, since now I’m finding little of interest in this adventure of mine, I have decide to only blog when there is something of note. This way if there is a blog entry it’s more likely to be a good one.

I’ve entered a healing phase where changes are slowing occurring and it’s about a much fun as watching paint dry. So if I don’t post, don’t worry, the chances are I am not lying in a pool of vomit, to weak to get up.

This recovery phase seems to focus on the throat, right now it seems I have an ample supply of paste stuck in the back of my throat; I’m being really unsuccessful in clearing it out.

The drooling is reduced to the inbred hillbilly mountain folk level, and is controlled with no more than three or four wash rags a day. Volume of the voice is getting better each day but the slight pain in talking is keeping me shut up, thank you very much.

Feeding is progressing, yesterday I easily finished a pudding cup, it was supposed to be flan flavored, I’m thinking my tastes buds are still pretty much off, tasted more like scrambled eggs but went down pretty easy.

I think I’ll plan on taking a couple to work, pudding cups, for snacks, I got to get intake up to 1500 calories a day to facilitate the loss of Filmore.

I still tire so very easy, but I am trying to get back in the swing of things at work, right now I am so far behind it’s like I just started a new job.

Anyway, stay tuned to this channel for updates; just don’t expect them daily, maybe every few days, and definitely when Dr appointments are on the calendar, May 9^th and 10^th are the next ones.

Quote of the day:

The I in illness is isolation, and the crucial letters in wellness are we.

You guys out there have been the ‘we’ for me, and you have my thanks for all the support you given. I felt that I have never been alone in this journey.

Now let’s get on with the healing and living of life.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Sunday, the day of rest

Started out normal, awoke and was up by six. This meant I was able to get my first nap in a bit after eight. Here I am looking for nap number two in the next hour or so,

I have this resting thing down pat.  Trying to figure out what to do next, feeding time or time to do some laundry?  Feeding time always means a dish washing session afterwards so it is the bigger of the two, but feeding will have to happen some time this morning.

I managed to get nothing done yesterday other than the naps. Biggest thrill of all was walking out to get the mail.  I did have a great visit from friends later in the afternoon.

Like a train going down hill around a curve picking up speed and no one is at the throttle,  woo wee it’s going to get interesting. Eight-eight days till the great expedition, twenty-eight till memorial weekend at the ranch, and the possible Filmore and medi-port eviction pending, going to be fun.

Quote of the day:

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Wernher von Braun 

All you guys enjoy the day of rest, take a nap, and take it easy, I plan on it.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Simply Saturday

Saturday, the day that dawns with such promise for fulfilling the plans made all week long. Who would have thought that Saturday would need to last 40 hours to accomplish all we set out to do.

Not me, I planned for nothing, so I have a chance to be able to make my list.  Slept in a bit, got up at 7, threw a load of laundry in the machine, and now sit composing this missive.

It’s a bit different doing this later than at 5 or 6. It seems like different creative juices are available and my thoughts are more settled down.

Last night was bit rough, after catching a nap from 5 to 9, I ran up to Wally World and picked up the pudding cups. Got home and had a chocolate-vanilla one, going fancy here. 

The chocolate part I got down easy but the vanilla tasted so wrong it was all I could do to force myself to swallow. I managed to finish the whole thing so that’s a start; I plan on adding one to each feeding until it’s a quick feed. Eating a pudding cup right now isn’t all that fast; it takes 5-10 minutes to get one down.

So for fun and games I get to look forward to eating a pudding cup, I still have lemon and caramel flavors to try.  What a diet, ruckpack for energy and vitamins, a pudding cup to train the throat to swallow again, and cans of Nestles goodness for substance.

Living large in Lewisville!!!  I plan to get out today, some how, somewhere.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.

Winston Churchill

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Free Food Friday

The office is having Posada’s Mexican Food, fajita’s, beef and chicken, rice and beans, the works. Me, I’m having nada, nothing, another free food Friday wasted.

But my attempts in eating have made a little headway. The applesauce was ok, managed to get about 2 oz down, the stuff tasted ok but had an acidic burn on the back of the throat.  And about 2 oz was all I really wanted. 

Last night I tried an avocado; these were one of my favorite snacks, avocado and Pete’s mesquite, eaten right from the half shell. About a quarter of one is all I got down.  Seems like the issue is I don’t seem hungry and after a couple of bites I am just too full to eat any more.

A co-worker at work had a great idea, those pudding cups and jello cups are the way to go. I was planning to stop by Wally World and grab some but fell asleep first, maybe tonight.

I was pretty washed out last night. Missed my stop on the A-train, slept right through it, and had to catch a return trip from the sneaky Pete’s station. Got home and pretty much went of bed, getting up to have a couple of cans of Nestles before going to bed around 10.

Going to see how I feel after today, if I am that tired then I think I should work from home a couple of more days and build up some stamina.  On the plus side the throat is feeling the best it has felt in a long time maybe 75% normal. This was a wonderful feeling to wake up to.

Quote of the day:

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.
Lance Armstrong

Stay strong;

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Thursday

Two days in a row! Made it to the office and survived, well, mostly.  Really dragging by the end of the day but that means I enjoy my evening nap.

Going to try applesauce this morning, I know I can swallow a big ol pill so applesauce shouldn’t be that big a stretch.  I need to start adding more food to diet and less can crap, Filmore must go.

I do believe I have entered a new phase of recovery, the throat feels like I’ve got something stuck in the back of it that I can’t seem to hawk up or swallow and the throat is filled with glue or paste.

Still filling the spit rags with mucus/glue/spit; at least I am discreet about it, at least at the office I am.  At home its Katie bar the door, I’m over a trash can gagging and hawking and trying to clear the throat with limited success.

Strange thing I’ve noticed, I don’t seem to get hungry anymore. Seems to me a long time ago I used to get hungry and need to eat. Now I can’t remember what that was like. I have to remind myself I need to take nourishment.  There is no feeling of fullness, one can, two cans or four cans it’s the same.

This at least has hope, with a little luck I can control my weight when this is done and finished, I’m at 198 right now and wouldn’t mind stabilizing at around 190.  I guess time will tell, way I look at it; it should cost less to feed me at 190 than 230, just saying.

Hang in there, it’s Thursday and Friday is just around the corner.

Quote of the day:

"If you’re going through hell, keep going." – Winston Churchill

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Happy Hump Day

It’s a hump day and it’s a happy one.  I’m at the office and just realized I wasted all morning and failed to prepare or upload a report.

Yesterday went well, spent it at the office, still dragging a bit but overall not a stressful day except around lunch time.  Not too good with some of the food smells. I remain amazed that my sense of smell is so keen these days.

Trip home was uneventful with the exception I don’t speak much, had a HOV buddy so I managed to be home by four. Home by four and I bed asleep by five.  My new mantra is never passing up a chance to catch a nap.

I have wonderful news to report, water tastes good again.  Yesterday evening, swishing out my mouth I realized the water wasn’t nasty tasting any more. 

Taste buds must be coming back, water actually tastes pretty darn good, almost sweet, fresh and pure.  I’m talking about distilled water here not tap water. Even on the best of days that tap stuff is nasty.

Just a note to let you know I’m out and about, still kicking.

Laissez les bons temps rouler

Twofer Tuesday -

That’s right, it’s a twofer day, two for the price of one. Like manna from heaven, gems of wisdom are likely going to be drifting down in pairs, like good boots, two make one, it's a twofer.

Found out yesterday that Filmore has an evection notice, four weeks and he’s gone, and with him the medi-port goes at the same time, it’s a twofer. Of course this means I got to get serious about poking food down my throat.

And to help in that task is ruckpack, energy & Wellness nutrition.  Check em out at www.ruckpack.com.  There stuff is so good they sold out and are waiting for the next shipment.  This is a combat tested & proven formula, a twofer for kicking Charlie’s butt.

And to boot, in the package was pictures of my two beautiful grand kids, the princess and the beast; she is a princess and he is a beast, takes after his dad no doubt, but with his momma’s sweet disposition. Need I say, another twofer.

Feeling pumped, going to try the in office work thing again, last week was a little early but maybe today is the day. I like working from home but feel more productive working from the office, at least when I need to interact with the level1 techs.

Got a ruckpack down Filmore so anything is possible, let’s roll, got to chatch the A-train and then the green line, yeah, a twofer.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

It's Monday –

It has been twenty days since I finished treatments.  At first it actually got worse, every day seemed to be a bit worse than the day before.  Overall the whole situation was getting out of hand.

Then about 12-15 days I started to notice an improvement, it was little steps but they were steps in the right direction.  I believe I am getting better and the future is looking up.

Today is the first of the follow up exams. Today I meet with my oncologist, I’m sure there will be lab work to check to see how we are doing after the chemo and a general exam to make sure I am recovering well.

I will be wearing a shirt provided by Sissy and crew, it’s one of the nice ones, it’s a Tommy Bahama, model Pina-a-Lotta, It is a keeper.

I look forward to the next few Doctor appointments; it will all be about getting better and recovering.  I will ask about when FIlmore can go and if the medi-port is going to get yanked anything soon.

If all goes well today, I am planning to try to work in the office tomorrow; I think I can make it all day without getting totally wiped out like last Monday.  Most of my Sunday was spent taking naps. After wine making work I spent the next two hours crashed, only getting up in order to take a nap.

Way I see it , the doctor’s appointment at ten should be done by 11:30 then lunch and all I have to drear is four hours of a Monday.  I think I can handle that.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Weekend Day Two

It was another great night’s sleep. I managed ten hours this time with only a quick wake up at 4:30 AM. I was up and round by 10:30 planning on doing nothing.

Throat continues to improve, one small step at a time, but I swear that each day is better than the day before.  All I managed to do yesterday was feed Filmore and sit around reading or watching old movies.

Looks like that is what I’ll be doing today as well.  It has made it to 4:30 PM and I still haven’t got enough down to post a blog entry.  Is this a good thing? Little things keeping me preoccupied and forgetting to post?

Had two sets of visitors to day, the bean counter stopped by and we talked about the great expedition, it’s coming then the Starkster dropped in and we worked on the wine kits. Started a Tango and went to settling on the other, port has another week before we need to address it.

Loyal minion is home from the paint ball center and taking a nap, which is right out of my play book, sounds like a good idea.

Consider this a post, a place holder until tomorrow, tomorrow, when things are bound to be more exciting.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler