Happy Hour

On the fourth Thursday of every month the Tuaca group meets for a happy hour.  I haven’t made too many of them since last January but tonight I was there.

Had a reason to be happy – PET scan results were clean.  There was a sub MM nodule but the doctors agreed that it was most likely scar tissue as it was not active.  Pretty much this means I’m out of the woods for the near future.  Next scheduled check is in three months.

Hearing the words was a real load off my mind. I was getting a tad bit anxious and the relief was pure bliss.  All this set up the stage for a celebration this evening.

The happy hour was interesting, beer still burns but not as bad as a couple of weeks ago. The shot of Tuaca was unbelievably painful, the burn was liken to eating habanera peppers, nothing short of pure pain, but thankfully short lived.

So for a 4 hour happy hour, three beers and one shot, a new record for me for the least amount of alcohol consumed at happy hour.

It felt good to get out again, a lot like a normal social function. But I am very much aware of how lucky I am to have such great friends.  My main chemo buddies, Ron and Laynette were out of town and couldn’t make it but others were there and I appreciated them for all the support they provided over the last 90 days.

24 days to GE2K13 and the cool mountain air of Colorado.  I am really looking forward to trout fishing and outside temperatures of 70  vs 100.  Life is slowly returning to normal and I am glad for it.

Thanks to my nieces and nephews for the fine Hawaiian golf shirt that I wore to the doctors today.  The picture does not do this fine shirt justice, I need a new camera.

Quote of the day:

"Aequam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem."

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Anticipation

Just like Christmas Eve, wondering what the morrow will bring. At 10:30 tomorrow I meet with Dr. llahi, the radiation Oncologist to review the results of the PET scan.

The best we can hope for is that it’s negative, with nothing showing up.  The worst is to have to come up with a new treatment plan.  I’m ok with chemo but that radiation was a butt kicker.

The PET scan was a pretty easy procedure that starts with an injection of radioactive glucose followed up with a pint of water to drink.  Now I carry a water bottle around as a defense for the dry mouth, so I am pretty much drinking non-stop.

All that drinking means I visit the facilities quite often. Any way, after drinking down the water I was escorted to the head to take care of business then in on the table for the scan.  The scan required that I lay there not moving for about 25 minutes. 

Takes about 5 for the dry mouth to set in.  Now I’m trying to not choke, and the rest of the water I’ve consumed is letting me know that intake means output and I need to get that taken care of pretty soon.

Long 25 minutes, but I made it and all is good.

Another day of triple digit temps, but it’s only 67 in Platoro and that’s where I’ll be in about 25 days. It was 108 at the ranch so I am glad I’m not up there. 

Quote of the day:

ab actu ad posse valet illatio 

Vital stats:

Weight 190

Throat 80%

Blood Pressure 106/74

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Cochise the Wonder Dog

For you who don’t know him, Cochise is my blue heeler. He’s a $70,000 dog.  Most of that was the result of him tripping me and causing the need for reconstructive surgery on my right shoulder. Since he cost me that much I put that price tag on him in case you are interested.

He’s a good dog and evidently has powers I am not fully aware of. Today I do the PET scan and since he is the only pet I got I guess he gets to do it.

History lesson – Cochise was a nantan, (chief) of the Chiricahua Apaches, a real bad ass, the dog Cochise was originally going to be named coach, after the brother-in-law who gave him to me. But I knew it would be confusing to talk about coach crapping in the yard and doing other things, people wouldn’t know which one I was talking about. 

Anyway to show a modicum of respect I changed the dog’s name to a more formal one, Cochise. 

Anyway, today is PET scan day, this is the first of many (I Hope),  results will be ready in 2-3 days.  If nothing shows up then we wait another 6 months or so and do it again.

I am now at about 80%, still having issues swallowing, mostly due to the dry mouth, which is in of itself causing trouble with the few remaining teeth.  But not to worry, I have a dental exam scheduled for the first week in July.

Planning continues for the great expedition, I am hoping that the high altitude isn’t going to be an issue. I think I can manage to tote my daily limit up out of the valley. Right now it looks like a pretty good group is headed up to Platoro. I’ll take lots of pictures so you guys stuck back here in 100 degree heat can see what it was like to be in the mountains in 65 degree days J

Time to roll, I’ll follow up with a shot of today’s shirt.  The count of used shirts stands at 53.  There are 16 still available in the closet.  Looks like I made it, thanks to the help from all you guys.

Mighty fine shirt

Quote of the day:

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

             --T.S. Eliot

Vital stats:

Weight 188

Throat 80%

Blood Pressure 117/78

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Satisfaction

I’m really late posting this update. Maybe that is because I am doing so much better than I was.  The first part of what follows is what took place across the memorial day weekend.

Memorial day was.  After a hiatus of 90 days I made it back to the ranch.  Being there is one of the most relaxing things I can think of doing.  Plus being there was a milestone I had set for myself about 45 days ago.

Lot’s of smaller milestones since the last update.  I can swallow with almost no pain.  For the first time since mid-February, I woke up without a sore throat.  That happened Sunday, and it meant that I was able to almost double the amount of food I would try to consume at a meal.

Meals were interesting as well; when at the ranch we tend to eat rather well, one of the hunting buddies likes to cook and does.  You’re not going to be eating kippered snacks on saltines.   And while I asked for mac-n-cheese what I got was homemade gourmet mac-n-cheese with real bacon, it was  awesome.  

We managed to accomplish quite a bit of maintenance work, I didn’t run out of steam too soon or over do it.  But it wasn’t all work, we took weapons so we did some shooting and I was able to meet another mile stone,

The mask was the worst part of the treatment. I found I really hated being locked in that damn thing. Those were the longest 20 minuets each day. So since I was finished with treatments I got the mask and It was dealt with at the ranch.  Take a shot at this video, I did:

Since that day I have made small improvements each day getting back towards normal.  I still tire really fast and when I run out of energy it’s crash time. This past weekend I went back to bed about 7Am and slept until 5PM, guess I  had been running on empty.

Tomorrow is PET scan day – this is the first big milestone in the recovery process, it will tell the tale on rather or not charley is really gone or if I need to follow up.  Wish me luck.  I’ll post tomorrow with shirt and a treatment update.

Going To See The Elephant

Big times happening this week, started with the eviction of Filmore. I admit I needed the damn thing, but getting rid of it has been a milestone I had been looking forward to.

It imposed limitations on me, real or perceived; there were limitations.  I really hated having to take nourishment that way, but what you going to do if you can’t swallow?

For the last week or so I haven’t used Filmore so it was time to get rid of him.

It took seven needle sticks to get ready, two to draw blood for the lab work, seems like there was a new hire/student that attempted the first stick and missed so the real lab tech showed her how it’s done.

Then the debacle in getting the IV started. First inside the right elbow, then the left, since those didn’t work they tried the back of the hand, first the right then the left. Finally they went back to inside the right elbow and were successful.

I got the bruises to show for it. The IV was necessary as the removal was done under something called twilight anesthesia, I wasn’t out, just on the borderline, vaguely aware of what was going on, sort of.

I can remember hearing the doctor say; let’s deflate the balloon, and then a sharp pull and the sensation of it coming out, sort of like pulling a carrot. It couldn’t have taken more than a few seconds. Got a small gauze bandage covering up the location.

What I’m left with looks like a new belly button, kind of cute.

Just before Filmore was plucked from my belly, they dug out the medi-port. Now that wasn’t as easy.  The sensation was that they were hacking away with a spoon; I swear I heard the scrapping and tearing to go along with the digging in my shoulder.

Feels like they use the chainsaw method, the location is sore like all get out. I do remember the surgeon asking if I wanted to keep it for a souvenir. I declined saying I had no use for it now. Then it was back to la-la land.

The whole procedure from start to finish took about 2 hours and then it was home to sleep off the effects of the drugs.  Finally woke up about 8 PM in time to eat a bite and go back to sleep.

Today was the radiological follow up. The radiological oncologist checked my progress and has ordered the PET scan for July 3^rd.  She seems pleased with the progress I am making and said I appear to be on track.

Another of the side effects is my neck is silky smooth, no shaving here. Still feels like it’s slightly sunburned, sort of sensitive, just like me.

Monday I have a follow up with the regular oncologist so I’ll most likely have something new to report back on.

Here are the shirts I wore to these two appointments:

 Still have about 12-15 shirts available, but I need only three. The last three are from the bean counter and Sissy. They are classics so stay tuned for those.

Quote of the day:

“Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.” 
― John Wayne

Vital stats:

Weight 198

Throat 80%

Blood Pressure 110/78

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Paying it forward

First off, a name change, Battling the Big C, this is because that’s what it’s all about. Friends and family, we are in this fight to the finish.

This trek would not have been possible with out the support of a lot of people. Most you reading this have helped in ways and at times you can never really know. I owe a huge debt that I now am tasked with repaying.

You guys paid it forward; I get to pay it back. I have my work cut out for me.

The shirts I received were such an inspirational support, they help to fulfill my pledge to wear a different shirt to every treatment or doctor appointment.  Also it struck home my wardrobe is seriously Hawaiian shirt heavy.

Foe all the readers and followers of the blog, even that was a support, the comments and the support for it made getting the story out a way of coping with the obstacles that were thrown up in my path.

I had the support of great bosses and co-workers, people that let me work my schedule and took up the slack when I wasn’t there.  Good people that I count as good friends.

I can’t thank those that made the trip to check in on me, several made trips of over 500 total miles, all for a short visit. But even the ones from across town, those visits meant a lot to me. 

All the calls to check on how I was doing and the offers of help made me feel that I wasn’t alone facing this thing.

I owe a ton of thanks to all those that stepped up to the plate to make it easier for me.  Everyday I get better and gain back some of the strength I lost.  I am eating better and taste is slowly coming back.

It’s a shame when chocolate tastes bad, But I am making headway, Filmores days are numbered, he is being evicted next Thursday.  The medi-port will be removed at the same time. For me that is a big milestone.

I have a follow up appointment with the radiation oncologist on Friday. Dentist is scheduled for the 28^th. And sometime after the end of the month a PET scan, that is the big one.

It was the little things, like Bella’s comments, she tried to post, some got through, not bad for a seven year old. Like I said I got some serious payback to take care of.

Quote of the day:

          All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.

–         Walt Disney

In the meantime –

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Saturday Morning Cartoons

It’s the recap of the week; a minor info blog posting to hit the highlights and low lights of the preceding week.

There were no needs for a daily blog except to say I’m getting better, each day is slightly better than the day before but way better that it was a week before.  Tomorrow is different tomorrow is important blog day, be sure to tune in.

Had a long trip home on Tuesday, switch issues on DCTA A-train had it running an average speed of 2.5mph.  That’s right, took two and a half hours to get home.  I left the office at 3:40 and pulled into my drive at 6:00.  But overall, in the scope of things, this was no big deal, just part of life.

Wednesday night I had tomato soup for dinner. All I managed to get down was one small bowl.  It was pretty acidic and didn’t feel all that well on the throat. I continue to try to figure out what might taste better and go down easy.

Thursday meal treat was chicken mushroom soup, creamy chicken mushroom soup. It tasted great and went down pretty easy. One bowl because that’s all I made up.  Filmore your days are numbered.

Free food Friday at the office, I will not be denied.  I don’t care if it is pizza I am having some.  Well that little ego trip wasn’t worth the effort. The Pizza was 2in by 6 inch pieces, it not round pizza but rectangular thin crust stuff. I managed to eat the topping off 1 piece. It didn’t taste right and was too hard to swallow. But I did get it down.

Friday night was the rest of the chicken mushroom soup. About half way through I decided it needed some kick so I got out the hot sauce. You know I like really hot stuff but I cut way back on the amount I hit it with. Good thing, the ability to enjoy hot spicy food is missing, two or three dashes made it too hot to enjoy, the mouth on fire i couldn't finish it.

It is so dang frustrating to smell something that triggers taste memories but then doesn’t taste right.  Getting closer, except that right now everything has a chalky taste.

Filmore popped its’ top early Saturday morning so my plans for sleeping in were thwarted.  I needed clean sheets on the bed anyway.  Filmore your days are numbered.

This thing is rough but you can overcome, stay strong and know you have lots of people pulling for you. It can be beat and will be beat.

I got to start work on the Sunday missive I promised, dang it Bobby, you should have kept your mouth shut. Nothing like a little pressure to enable the writers block.

Quote of the day:

It is only the first step that is difficult.

Marie De Vichy-Chaconne

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Monday, Paradigm Shift

Now some of you think a paradigm is only twenty cents but I’m here to tell you it’s a major change in the way things are done.

I was laying in bed waiting for the alarm to go off, thinking about topics for this mornings blog when I realized I didn’t have much to report on. Life is pretty much easing back into a normal routine.

So, since now I’m finding little of interest in this adventure of mine, I have decide to only blog when there is something of note. This way if there is a blog entry it’s more likely to be a good one.

I’ve entered a healing phase where changes are slowing occurring and it’s about a much fun as watching paint dry. So if I don’t post, don’t worry, the chances are I am not lying in a pool of vomit, to weak to get up.

This recovery phase seems to focus on the throat, right now it seems I have an ample supply of paste stuck in the back of my throat; I’m being really unsuccessful in clearing it out.

The drooling is reduced to the inbred hillbilly mountain folk level, and is controlled with no more than three or four wash rags a day. Volume of the voice is getting better each day but the slight pain in talking is keeping me shut up, thank you very much.

Feeding is progressing, yesterday I easily finished a pudding cup, it was supposed to be flan flavored, I’m thinking my tastes buds are still pretty much off, tasted more like scrambled eggs but went down pretty easy.

I think I’ll plan on taking a couple to work, pudding cups, for snacks, I got to get intake up to 1500 calories a day to facilitate the loss of Filmore.

I still tire so very easy, but I am trying to get back in the swing of things at work, right now I am so far behind it’s like I just started a new job.

Anyway, stay tuned to this channel for updates; just don’t expect them daily, maybe every few days, and definitely when Dr appointments are on the calendar, May 9^th and 10^th are the next ones.

Quote of the day:

The I in illness is isolation, and the crucial letters in wellness are we.

You guys out there have been the ‘we’ for me, and you have my thanks for all the support you given. I felt that I have never been alone in this journey.

Now let’s get on with the healing and living of life.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Sunday, the day of rest

Started out normal, awoke and was up by six. This meant I was able to get my first nap in a bit after eight. Here I am looking for nap number two in the next hour or so,

I have this resting thing down pat.  Trying to figure out what to do next, feeding time or time to do some laundry?  Feeding time always means a dish washing session afterwards so it is the bigger of the two, but feeding will have to happen some time this morning.

I managed to get nothing done yesterday other than the naps. Biggest thrill of all was walking out to get the mail.  I did have a great visit from friends later in the afternoon.

Like a train going down hill around a curve picking up speed and no one is at the throttle,  woo wee it’s going to get interesting. Eight-eight days till the great expedition, twenty-eight till memorial weekend at the ranch, and the possible Filmore and medi-port eviction pending, going to be fun.

Quote of the day:

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Wernher von Braun 

All you guys enjoy the day of rest, take a nap, and take it easy, I plan on it.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Simply Saturday

Saturday, the day that dawns with such promise for fulfilling the plans made all week long. Who would have thought that Saturday would need to last 40 hours to accomplish all we set out to do.

Not me, I planned for nothing, so I have a chance to be able to make my list.  Slept in a bit, got up at 7, threw a load of laundry in the machine, and now sit composing this missive.

It’s a bit different doing this later than at 5 or 6. It seems like different creative juices are available and my thoughts are more settled down.

Last night was bit rough, after catching a nap from 5 to 9, I ran up to Wally World and picked up the pudding cups. Got home and had a chocolate-vanilla one, going fancy here. 

The chocolate part I got down easy but the vanilla tasted so wrong it was all I could do to force myself to swallow. I managed to finish the whole thing so that’s a start; I plan on adding one to each feeding until it’s a quick feed. Eating a pudding cup right now isn’t all that fast; it takes 5-10 minutes to get one down.

So for fun and games I get to look forward to eating a pudding cup, I still have lemon and caramel flavors to try.  What a diet, ruckpack for energy and vitamins, a pudding cup to train the throat to swallow again, and cans of Nestles goodness for substance.

Living large in Lewisville!!!  I plan to get out today, some how, somewhere.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.

Winston Churchill

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Free Food Friday

The office is having Posada’s Mexican Food, fajita’s, beef and chicken, rice and beans, the works. Me, I’m having nada, nothing, another free food Friday wasted.

But my attempts in eating have made a little headway. The applesauce was ok, managed to get about 2 oz down, the stuff tasted ok but had an acidic burn on the back of the throat.  And about 2 oz was all I really wanted. 

Last night I tried an avocado; these were one of my favorite snacks, avocado and Pete’s mesquite, eaten right from the half shell. About a quarter of one is all I got down.  Seems like the issue is I don’t seem hungry and after a couple of bites I am just too full to eat any more.

A co-worker at work had a great idea, those pudding cups and jello cups are the way to go. I was planning to stop by Wally World and grab some but fell asleep first, maybe tonight.

I was pretty washed out last night. Missed my stop on the A-train, slept right through it, and had to catch a return trip from the sneaky Pete’s station. Got home and pretty much went of bed, getting up to have a couple of cans of Nestles before going to bed around 10.

Going to see how I feel after today, if I am that tired then I think I should work from home a couple of more days and build up some stamina.  On the plus side the throat is feeling the best it has felt in a long time maybe 75% normal. This was a wonderful feeling to wake up to.

Quote of the day:

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.
Lance Armstrong

Stay strong;

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Thursday

Two days in a row! Made it to the office and survived, well, mostly.  Really dragging by the end of the day but that means I enjoy my evening nap.

Going to try applesauce this morning, I know I can swallow a big ol pill so applesauce shouldn’t be that big a stretch.  I need to start adding more food to diet and less can crap, Filmore must go.

I do believe I have entered a new phase of recovery, the throat feels like I’ve got something stuck in the back of it that I can’t seem to hawk up or swallow and the throat is filled with glue or paste.

Still filling the spit rags with mucus/glue/spit; at least I am discreet about it, at least at the office I am.  At home its Katie bar the door, I’m over a trash can gagging and hawking and trying to clear the throat with limited success.

Strange thing I’ve noticed, I don’t seem to get hungry anymore. Seems to me a long time ago I used to get hungry and need to eat. Now I can’t remember what that was like. I have to remind myself I need to take nourishment.  There is no feeling of fullness, one can, two cans or four cans it’s the same.

This at least has hope, with a little luck I can control my weight when this is done and finished, I’m at 198 right now and wouldn’t mind stabilizing at around 190.  I guess time will tell, way I look at it; it should cost less to feed me at 190 than 230, just saying.

Hang in there, it’s Thursday and Friday is just around the corner.

Quote of the day:

"If you’re going through hell, keep going." – Winston Churchill

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler