Ice Cream For Breakfast

What can I say? The war torn, savaged insides of my mouth can’t take the abrasiveness of dry toast. Even with copious amounts of Miracle Mouthwash, it doesn’t remove the pain of swallowing it only mitigates it to the degree where I grimace with each attempt.

But I have chocolate ice cream, and it is the soft type so it melts in the mouth and slides on down and I can eat all I want. Only problem is I don’t want to. It still hurts, and it doesn’t taste all that good. Those taste buds better get their act together; I think they all took off on vacation.

Missed yesterdays nuke treatment so there will be an agenda change, just don’t know how much. But rest assured I’ll blog on it. Figured out blogging is easier when I feel good, like right after chemo. Among the multiple bags of stuff I get has got to be a Mr. Happy bag.

Headed to the weekly nadir, that’s the low point of the week, it’s a side benefit from getting all nuked up and poisoned, you learn new words. So far Thursday has been the nadir of the week for the last two so if it holds true to form I will be low volume blogging tomorrow.

Weight was down to 214 this morning; I got to load up the pockets with knives and coins so I weigh in a tad bit heavier. That’s funny because I remember in the Marines we were always weighing in and figuring out body fat percentages and nobody wanted to be on weight control. Saw Marines trying to get weighted without boots or even showing up in PT gear, any thing to save a pound or two.

On the nutritional front, I am trying to enlist a former co-worker who just got her masters in nutritional stuff. I figure with her as a coach to help me through the rocks and shoals ahead, I might survive. I get to be her first client and she gets to experiment on me. I’ll keep you posted if it works out.

I said work out, like I’m going to, NOT.

Todays shirt ---->

cahrley doesn't get ice cream for breakfast, he gets nuked, and the x-rays are going straight to his little black heart and blow it up. Talk about having a bad day, charley is in for a bad one. We coming for you charley.


I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Shirts Rule charley Drools

OK, maybe not the strongest jab in book but it did rhyme.
Finally decided how I am going to showcase the Kill charley Shirts, (KcS).

The KcS are beautiful items that have been received from supporters, family, and friends. For this action they (the supporters) are awarded horary membership in the Adams Clan with all right and things therein to pertaining.

Do not let a born–to clan member try to convince you that your first meeting will require you to buy the alcohol. It’s the second meeting that you attend that you will be buying. You'll need it.

By my calculations Four more Mondays, so there are Four special KcS and from the last day counting back the rest of the pack. I am saving out the first shirt to arrive for the One year check up and Miss Vicky’s shirt for the 6 month check out.

So as this draws to a close we‘ll get to see the beautiful shirts that are killing charley

Last Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were a low due to collateral damages. Funny how collateral damage is a nice way of excusing un-nice things till it’s you getting it.

Any way I am going to try something new, a status gauge(s)

Update #1 no shirt picture as someone on a back hoe chopped through the fiber optic link from the machine to the big controller computer. And since we don't want this thing going crazy spewing x-rays in all directions like a run away mad dog they have me on stand by to be nuked. If I miss a day the program gets extended by 1 or more days I have 6 hr window to get today on the boards.


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Renewed Offensive and Wonders of Chemistry

After action Report: Massive nuking and chemo attach lays thousands if not million of charleys dead or dying. I know this to be true because the good Doctor Nguyen told me so.

Typical mask experience, still don’t like it but have not had an anxiety attack since the first one. Maintaining control helps.

Next stop is the chemo lab where those pink and blue clad angels of mercy await to administer the chemo attack on charley. It starts with a stab to the heart, well to the port that is plumbed directly to the heart, same thing, minor differences.

I start out with a liter saline solution to flush the pipes and to start loading up the kidneys, Next bag is for nausea but I don’t think it works because I haven’t felt nausea yet. Bag three is incase I have an reaction to whatever, it contains Benadryl and Mr. Feel-Good, I suspect this is true because I feel good as this bag starts to flow.

Heck, I felt good enough to scarf down a 900 calorie malt in the next 3 hours. Next bag is the poison Cisplatin, this bad boy is a stone cold killer and he HATES charley. Finally they hang a final liter of saline and I’m outta there by 4:30

Felling good, head over to Red Neck Heaven for a burger and non-alcoholic beer. Whoa chief! How is this possible? Last I talked about is how I couldn’t swallow or drink or do any mouthy things. It’s better living through chemistry.

Miracle Mouthwash, I got a prescription for Miracle Mouthwash. OMG, it works, it is a miracle. Comprised of .333% Lidocaine, .333% Mallox, and .333% Benadryl. Doesn’t taste to bad, and it works. After missing nutritional goals Saturday and Sunday, I busted through the 1500 caloric minimum I set for self. By my count today I consumed 2300 calories. Say no to feeding tubes.

Mondays fine shirt

Monday's fine shirt in it's native habitat,

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Smarter Than Your Avg Rat

Well, not to smart as it ate the poison I left out for him. It’s the kind that makes them thirsty so they go out side in search of water.

Not this one, he knows where there’s water, and he attacked the washing machine, again.
This time he ate the discharge hose and drain line and not finding water there decided to nibble on the tub to pump hose.

Major water leak when I tried to do a load of laundry, again. Hi–ho, hi-ho it’s off to Lowes we go in search of hoses that will serve as repair parts. They actually had a discharge hose so that one is a no brainer.

Tub to pump, different story, since this one is abut seven inches long and turns a ninety it’s going to be a tough one. Trying the second type of hose and if it doesn’t work then I am headed to auto zone for a radiator hose.

Auto zone comes through; I think it was a radiator hose for a 52 Packard that did the trick. On test it didn’t leak but then it never cut off filling the tub. Luckily we caught it be for another major mess. Tomorrow we trouble shoot that issue.

Fact! You can’t gargle oral gel, first of all the taste, really, really bad, second, burns like heck, and lastly, it doesn’t reach far enough back to do any good. It helps in the front but not in the back.

Today my Doctor told me to start killing people. Well maybe not in those exact words, but she did tell me to start reducing the stress in my life, so there you are, pretty much the same thing.

Note to self: When mouth is all blistered up and infested with raw sores and blisters, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT taste test hot sauces or pepper mash. One; your taste buds aren’t working right and two; it hurts.

Last night had the best call in a long time, got to talk to my grandkids and air warrior and his lovely bride. Hi Gosia, take care of them grandkids for me.


Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll

OK, maybe two outta three, and the rock & roll is actually country.

Who’s my new best friend? Hydrocodone. That’s right, better living through chemistry. Drugs are my new best friend. The sun burn in my mouth is pretty bad and swallowing is almost impossible.

It quit being a joke some time yesterday morning. I was hoping that the two day R&R would allow some relief but it wasn’t happening. I missed my caloric intake by 1200 yesterday and suspect if I don’t choke down some water I stand the good chance of getting dehydrated.

I guess that means a little bit more dry humor is necessary. Anyway, by night fall I was pretty low in the sprit department, the mental kind, not the liquid form. But between the pain in the throat, (constant), and the intense pain on attempts to swallow, I had me an epiphany.

Them dudes I don’t like, the dentists, they give me some pain meds that I didn’t take, and I wonder if they might help? Hell yes, I was asleep in thirty minutes and on the odd occasion I awoke, a swallow of water didn’t bring tear to my eyes.

I’ll be checking with #2 doc on Monday about pain meds for the throat, think there might be one specifically for the issue and I want them.

I felt so good the muse returned last night and I mentally put together the most wondrous blog post of all time. Unfortunately I fell back asleep and having failed to put it on paper, I haven’t a clue as to what it was. But I do remember it was a good one.

As to the missing member of the trio, any volunteers?


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Bird of Paradise Boxers

What can I say? They be beautiful.

Mean while back at the ranch . . Well, not at the ranch but I would be if possible. But it’s a weekend and that means R&R.

Last night I thought I’d give my kidneys a taste of the good stuff so I pulled the cork on a bottle of a White Merlo and found I couldn’t drink it.

Dang it Bobby. it doesn’t taste that good, but more importantly the back of the throat did not like the alcohol and acidity of the wine, it just hurt. Took several hours to choke down the first glass. Hey? What did you expect, I’m no quitter. I’m not going to waste a bottle of wine.

Yowee charley is in big trouble now, the good sisters at the Holy Angles Convent have enlisted in the spiritual effort. And I am here to tell you, they carry a big stick and I think they might have an in with the big Guy as well. And I need all the churching I can get.

Nothing scarier than a bevy of nuns armed with rulers at the ready headed your way. Yes, I’m speaking from experience. I strayed from the straight and narrow several times as a mere child.

I wonder if I could give up radiation treatments for lent, would that work? No, I think it has to be something you like. Guess that leaves food off the list as well.

Nutritional target is 1500 calories a day minimum. Must not be getting that as I have slipped a few pounds. Not that they will be missed but I got to stay away from the number that gets me violated once more. Even though I think I would look pretty durn good if I lost 23 lbs.




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IT Ninja’s are Re-Purposing My Throat

I know they are IT because only IT would work through the middle of the night.

I am sure of it. Last night they snuck in and unlimbered their little ninja knifes and then went all Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan on the back of my throat. Feels like they hacked and cut and were rude to me all around. Plus I think they left their dirty socks back there.

Can’t spit, can’t gargle, can barely swallow. Hope it get better as the day goes on. I swung by the donut shop to get a cup of coffee and decided the easiest of all donuts to eat are the donut holes. Not anymore. I had to gag them down. Seems like the ninja’s were messing with my tasters as well, sugar isn’t a good taste any more.

Not to worry another hunting buddy stepped up to the plate. I found on my front porch a care package from North Carolina. Yessssss! I got me some pickled pigs feet, Southern cured ham and possibly a jug of hooch! NOT.

Seems Jack is all serious and concerned, but he did send some soft easy to swallow Boost and I am here to say they go down as easy as anything tried tonight and a hell of a lot easier than some of the stuff. I think Sloany might be missing her I love the dentist doll but not to worry I have set aside 5lbs of Tannerite to take care of it.

I think the best part was the 400K he included. I plan to put one bar back for a celebration when this crap is over. The other three are going in the Vitamix with some peanut butter and Boost.

I guess the sweatshirt was to help hide my bloated body as I continue to gain weight thanks to good friends and neighbors. two days off and no nuking so I be chilling.

Here is a picture of the Vitamix preparing to make a fruit smoothie.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you about my fine new boxer shorts.




Laissez les bons temps rouler

Attack of the Killer Potatoes

First of all, I want to apologize for not posting this morning. This led to several inquiries as to the state of my health. Not to worry, I was up and kicking but had stayed up late last night working on a downed site and started back up at 5 this morning.

Work got in the way of play :(

But where was I? Well yesterday I left off talking about 2012 Counter Space Odyssey. You remember the thing that’s more than a blender, the thing that is going to keep the Doctor from allowing me the pleasure of a feeding tube later down the line.

Today one sits on my counter. Thanks to a hunting buddy. Never saw that one coming, Heck, I was excited to think I was going to be able to borrow one. But he ups and delivers me one, new, in the box.

Then there was the flash of genius, James had schooled me pretty good in the day-to-day operations of this thing so I decided to partake on some potato soup.

Like most chef wannabe’s, I felt I didn’t need a recipe. James made an awesome soup without a recipe; I was betting I could also.

Almost; Threw two potatoes in the microwave to get started, to the Vitamix I added some spice, a clove or two of garlic, come shredded cheese, soy milk, Worcestershire sauce, cottage cheese, 4 little carrots and half a stick of butter. After the potatoes are done they go in also. I kick it into high gear and it makes, . . . . something.

Smooth as a baby’s butt. Almost the consistency of peanut butter just a tad bit thinner. Has all the tastes of the best mashed potatoes in the world, Slides down the gullet so that goal is met, but it’s not soup, guess I should have added more silk milk. Or used a recipe, and no excuse for that, I got a whole book full of them.

Oh, it also set up stiffer than concrete and glued the odd spoon to the bowl as well.

No morning nuke scheduled as they moved today’s torture up to 2:30.





Today's Shirt

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2012 Counter Space Odyssey

Looks like they used the dragnet po-po building as a model when they built this thing.

I’m talking about the piece of equipment that just might prevent the doctor from being able to have her way with me. She keeps explaining to me how I am going to lose too much weight and have to have a feeding tube installed.

I guess she doesn’t understand who she’s dealing with here. Most of my new shirts are in XXL sizes. I ask you, does that sound like I’m planning to waste away?

Not going to happen. No way Jose. Hunting buddy is loaning me his countertop wonder. He drug it over here this evening, It slices, it dices, it purées, whips, blends and cooks, it’s a smoothie making, soup cooking, nutritional marvel of engineering.

Shoot fire, we made cream of potato soup, we made cream of broccoli soup, and we made cream of corn, black bean and assorted other veggie soup. This thing makes things so smooth I can manage to swallow.

And just to show my appreciation I hit him with a packet of spit. I get mine in little single serving foil packs so I give him one. That way if he ever finds himself so mad he can’t spit, it’ll be there for him.

Hunting buddy doesn’t cook, he creates. This here piece of equipment might just be a life saver. I just thought yesterday I had the worst sore throat in my life, I just didn’t realize all I had to do was to wait for today.

I’m wondering if I can make coffee go down a little easier.

Thursday's shirt

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Ninja Math and Operational Update

Operational name needed, accepting all suggestions, will put them up to a common vote.

Scorched earth policy goes as expected. Thousands of charley’s have been swept asunder, laid to waste, bonked on the head. In addition to the main thrust of the attack, chemical warfare is actively destroying their repo-depots and preventing reinforcement.

Collateral damage is beginning to show up. Originally attributed to ninjas, it appears the issue is nothing more than a bad sunburn way back in the back of my throat. Might even be the worst sunburn I ever got, but it is scheduled to get worse.

Can’t yawn hurts too much

I finally got confirmation on the campaign length. 35 nuking sessions and 7 chemo attacks. So using my ninja math skills we are 22.857142857142…% complete on the nuke side and 28.57182857182…% complete with chemo.

Purdy shirt arrived from hunting buddy Marvin. But since it's such a nice one I suspect his better half had a hand in the selection.

And today’s shirt -->

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Making Sake and Running Shine

My first attempt at making sake is taking shape. First step was to get some rice all moldy. That took a few days. Cooked up 3 lbs or regular rice and added it tonight. The final step was to pitch the red star champagne yeast on it. If all goes well we’ll be drinking home made sake in 14 days.

Meanwhile, trusty sidekick and paint ball magnet is running the essential oil extractor in the kitchen. He be extracting some of them bourbon oils.

Now you might be wondering what all this has to do with the ongoing destruction of charley. It has everything to do with it. The quest to destroy it is not going to dictate how I live my life. It’s a necessary evil, and it is disrupting my day to day activities but it is not going to be all consuming.

I got bullets to reload, bills to pay, house to clean, and blogs to write. charley is lucky I spend the few minuets every morning that I do to get his ass nuked.

And speaking of the nuke sessions, throat might be reacting a bit, little tougher to swallow than I remember and getting a tad bit scratchy. Wonder what it’ll be like in the morning.

It's morning and it's not so good - ninjas snuck in and sandblasted the throat, crafty lil devils, did it while I was asleep. Hurts to swallow water, gonna be interesting, I still have fourty-nine eleven cups of coffee to drink today. Man has to get his daily coffee allowance.

FYI the date time on these posts is off by 6 hours, another ninja conspiracy. Ninjas set my time zone to somewhere in South America but I fixed it, again.

Tuesday’s shirt

Insurance Companies and Suing charley

Due to the mature nature of the following content no names were changed, they are not innocent. They need no protection.

Amazing how much paper work is generated by visiting doctors. I’m mad at charley myself. Mad enough that I’m going to kill him. Fight’s on, we are winning, charley is dying left and right.

So now, yesterday, I get more paperwork in the mail. I get more paperwork than bills and junk mail combined now. But this one? It’s special!

Return address is Customer Care Center. Normally that alone is good enough to trigger file 13 but a second glance is at the postage, it’s first class!

Whoa thar hoss, this might some kind of customer service survey and I’m all like, members of the kill charley coalition gets all the perks and atta boys that I can throw at em. Lets’ rip this thing open and get to checking exceeds expectations check boxes.

No wait, the company is something called Meridian, a national subrogation vendor. For the uninitiated, that’s a fancy name for a cesspool of lawyers, one that sues other parties to special events. Apologies to the lawyers on the kill charley team, they are non-cesspool varieties.

Anyway, these guys get involved in events like when you break your leg at a buddy’s house, they want to sue your buddy because he has insurance. Seems like insurance pays a claim but they want to get the money from some one else.

QOUTE “The nature of services rendered on the date noted on the attached questionnaire indicates an accident may have occurred.” And a bit later this gem, “…help determine if others may be responsible for your medical bills.”

The service in question? it was the first scan to get a look at charley. The start of the 75K+ bill trail, I can’t wait to see how they pull this one off. Sue the bastard! I want some money for pain and suffering, but not to much, only a mill or two, I’m not greedy.

But overall – I like the idea, let's sic some junk yard dogs on charley, where is that number for “the hammer”, Jim Adler?

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